Gratitude

Have you ever been full of so much gratitude, that you don't even know what to do. Sometimes I just cry, but that just doesn't seem like enough. I have been so overwhelmed lately, feeling like I am on the verge of not doing anything right. I feel like I am just hanging on, but one catastrophe away from losing it! I want nothing more than to be a great mom. It has been my life goal. But it is hard! It is hard to know that what you are doing is right, but hating to wake up to the same day again... and again... and yep, same day again. So, that was what I WAS thinking about the last month. However, I took a week off and did a little vegging. I did the things I don't usually do, like ironing, and painting, and cleaning the laundry room really clean. It was relaxing and nice. And as I get back into things, I realize how really good I have it! My kids are amazing. They are crazy and naughty and they backtalk and talk nonstop and are loud and on and on and on. But they are really good kids. They are fun and witty and full of personality and have amazing testimonies and they LOVE us unconditionally. I have an amazing husband and father to my boys!! The other day he was talking to me about someone and I just started crying tears of gratitude. He is so loving and kind. He sees peoples good, and downplays any bad that I bring up. He loves serving in the church. He is the Young Mens President, and it is really time consuming, but he loves what he does! He loves being an influence for good and fun in those boys lives, and is always telling me the things that he is learning about having teenage boys. What a great oppurtunity he is taking to learn about what will become "our lives" in such a short time. When Chet came to me 2 years ago and asked if I wanted to move to Gillette, jokingly, and handed me a job description, I instantly said... uh no! We had a good life. We had amazing friends, and an amazing house, and amazing neighbors, and lived by lots of family. We were truely happy! As the week went on and we knew that Chet was supposed to take the job, we were scared. Then followed the hardest 3 months of my life so far. But we grew. And learned that Heavenly Father knew EVERYTHING about us. One night after moving here, I was laying in bed with post baby hormones just crying to Chet that I wanted friends. He hugged me and said that it was his thought that we would make better friends as a whole than ever before. Last night we had a house full of all of our best friends here planning trips together. We planned weekends as families, weekend getaways, summer vacations, and more and more. We laughed until my stomach hurt. We have AMAZING friends! They love us. We get together ALL the time. My kids love their kids. As one of our friends just walked to the fridge and opened it and started looking around it, I was so happy to know how comfortable we all are together. It's like being with family. No knocking, no polite asking where things are. We just help ourselves and even know where almost everything is. Gillette, without a doubt, was the right move for us. Tonight as we were getting ready to start family home evening, we had neighbors wanting to join. We had four wheelers piled high. My boys were so proud! Chet had the neighbor girls hair flipping in his face as she was hollering the whole time. And we loved every minute of it! This morning I had 2 boys waiting in the garage when I came out for a ride to school. We just all pile in (it's a half mile to the school and no major roads) We have a great neighborhood, which was divinely placed I know. The fact that we bought this house in this ward and got these neighbors was crazy inside itself! I could go on and on about the things in my life that I am grateful for. If I focus on the bad, it can be bad within a few days. It can almost put me in a depressive state. But when I focus on the blessings, my heart wants to explode with happiness!!! I am so blessed!!! I am so thankful most of all for my testimony! So thankful that I know that the church makes me happy! Some of the people in it... not so much, but living the gospel does! I love my life!!!