1)Being a mom is really hard. Chet has a saying he uses that says, "Nothing worth while was ever accomplished easily!" This is true. Being a good mom does NOT come easy. It takes un-human amounts of patience. It takes so much selflessness. It is just plain hard. I pray every night to be a better mom, some days I feel really good, and others ... not so much. Well I have really been struggling with some issues of motherhood. I'm just worn down and exhausted, but still with everything in me, want to be the BEST mom ever. Friday I was complaining to Chet, which he does not do well with. He is a solutions kinda guy. Don't waste time complaining, spend time creating solutions. He was really good to just listen and "bear" his testimony on the righteous decisions that I have made/make, and encouraged me to stick with it and that I would not regret it later. It made me feel a little better, but I was still pretty down. (Here comes the good part!) So, for date night we went to the high school basketball games. Towards the end of the girls game, I see this total cute mom come walking in. She was fit and trendy and smiling, and behind her walked 3 totally cute teenage boys. I was immediatly hooked! I was so intrigued! How did she get these boys of hers to sit with her, and not in the student section. Since it was almost the start of the boys game I assumed she had a boy playing. I wanted to go meet her. Chet thought I was crazy! He was already embarrassed, and I hadn't even went to talk to her. I started asking everyone around me who the lady in "the blue shirt is?" Nobody knew. Chet went to talk to a coworker, and I knew this was my time to go! I walked over to her and said, "I just have to meet you! You are so cute and fun looking, and I have to know your secret. Look at these cute boys that are sitting by you! How did you do it!" Her boys started laughing but were so nice. She was so nice. She asked me several questions. We talked for about 10 min, and she told me her "secret", which was exactly what I had complained to Chet about. She encouraged me and told me that she could tell I was a good mom just because I saw "success" and wanted to know the secret, I was there asking for any help possible. She had no idea I was struggling like I was, or even what about. It took everything I had to hold back tears! When I sat down next to Chet (I could tell he was so embarrassed) I started bawling, tears of complete joy and gratitude! I was having a hard time getting control of myself. It put all worries and concerns to rest. I have not worried about those things since(6 days ago, but still), and I feel so free. I know Heavenly Father knows me, and wants me to succeed, and not only succeed, but be happy in the journey. It was awesome!!!
2) I have been worried that my boys will not be friends. I have worried that they will just hate each other as adults. Chet and I have been working really hard on helping the boys "love" each other more. 5 boys in the same house... tough task! They just seem so selfish. Chet was gone to mutual, and Caden wanted my help with homework. I told him that I would help when I was done cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. This is what I see next.
3) While cleaning up dinner the other night, Cael calls me into the livingroom. He asks if I can take a picture.
I think that I need to worry less! I think that my boys will grow up loving each other. They fight and yell and complain about each other all the time, but in those little moments, you can see and just know that they truely love each other! I love my life and the tender mercies that I receive that let me know that I just need to endure to the end! And enjoy the ride too!
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