Bullying

I don't intend for my blog to be a "dirty laundry" center, but a reality of being a mom to five crazy boys. I want to remember the good, bad, and ugly. I got a call from the school to let me know that my son was in trouble for bullying a boy and would be missing a recess. My first thought is not writable, but my second thought was, a RECESS! Every day teenagers are killing themselves because they are being teased, and all he is missing is a RECESS! I informed the lady that he will be missing a whole lot more at home. My boy was hitting this boy in the face with a football T, while his "popular" friends stood behind him and laughed. I have always thought and said that about 90% of bullying can be prevented if the parents were a little more aware. Make sure their clothes fit. Make sure their hair is done, and they look like someone cares about them. Teach them to match and wash themselves. Well, if he had been bullying for any of these reasons, I still would have come down on him like a mad hornet, but oh no. The kid is a little socially behind. He always looks good, always well groomed, well behaved, and is just a little behind. And... this is the second time. The first time we talked to him, we told him (my son) that we knew he (the other boy) was a little annoying, but he WAS going to treat him with respect. He didn't have to be his "friend", but he would stick up for him whenever he was being bullied at school, and he would never again treat him like that. We made cookies and took them to him and apologized. We thought we had taken care of it. 5 months later, here we are. Last night we went on a double with some good friends, and doubled on babysitting. My kids love when the Lees come over like this, and he sat in his room alone. Today he missed Charity playing basketball in Gillette, as he sat home in his bed. Chet is shooting with the other two boys, and he sits in bed. Tomorrow we will be going with about 10 families for a "Break the Fast" for fast Sunday, and he will sit in the car or corner, depending on the weather. We are carrying on without him, and it is sooooo hard for him to sit in his room alone. None of my boys are used to EVER being alone. They sleep with a brother, and are almost ALWAYS with a brother. He is even eating in his room. I told him that Monday he would be going to school in the most hideous clothes I could find. He will be wearing clothes that are too small, with holes and that do not match. He will not get to do his hair. He was crying hysterical saying that he would not get out of the car. Oh but he is. He will see just how it feels to be made fun of (Something that I honestly don't think he knows. I don't know that he has EVER been disliked or teased by anyone). To know how it feels to be sad or scared to go to school because you don't know how someone is going to treat you. He will remember this, and be scared for what will happened if I EVER get another call that he is bullying, ANYONE!!! As a mother I have always thought about what I would do if my kid was bullied. And when one was after school, I waited for the bully the next day and told him that he better not ever touch my son again. I have read about what to do and how to talk to your kids when they get bullied. Never did I ever think that it would be my son. A little teasing, or taunting, sure! A little boy being boy, no problem. But I will NEVER be ok with them acting like that to any other human being. So sad. So sad. Luckily the boy wasn't too upset about it, and the mother wasn't at all upset about it, at least that's what she said to me. He has wanted to even come to the house and play since. Our son has so much potential and social power to be AMAZING, and I hope that we can teach and show by example how to do that. How to build people around you, even the ones that aren't like you. He told me today that he thought that we were being bullies to him. I had to explain to him that we are, and we have not spanked, or hit him in the face (like he had done to the other boy), and that he should remember how bad that feels. Hopefully it sinks in. Chet and I are pretty relaxed and easy going about alot of things, but we will never be ok with PUNKS!!! I pray that my boys are not mindless punks. Oh how I love them, and how my heart hurts when they do something like this. Hopefully we have fully taken care of it this time!