Insight

Being parents is hard. Kids are so dang smart. Mine are smarter than Chet and I at electronics for sure. We have to ask them how to do certain things on their IPODS. And I used to wonder how in the WORLD my parents could have found out some of the things they did. Cart and Cars are just reaching the age of independence. We are trying to do the best "doggy paddle" we can, to keep up with them. Heaven knows we have tried to teach them everything they need to know to keep themselves safe. Chet and I also know that kids will be kids, and they are going to make mistakes. But it's hard! The other day the boys asked how dad and I know that? I said that it was in the book that we were given when they were born. They both believed me, that the Dr gave me a book that has all the parenting answers. Oh how I wish. Little do they know, it's the craziest things that you stumble upon that open the door for you to learn more.

 So the other night, Chet and I were looking at pictures on Cars's IPOD. I had introduced myself to some girls dads while at a school event, and told them that I knew Cars was emailing and messaging with their girls, and that I hoped all was ok, but it was his first time with it, so to let me know if he needed me to talk to him about anything. So I see a message from this girl that says, "I thought your mom didn't know about the email account." (which is funny because I set it up for him) Strike one! So while we are looking at all the pictures that she has sent over to Cars, she messages. Not so good. There were some naughty words. Instantly, Chet wanted to say something. I kept him quiet and we went right to the older messages, and learned some more. Strike 2! By this point, I think Cars was sweating bullets not knowing what we were going to see. He had bolted to shower for the night. I said nothing to him that night.

The next day when it was just him and I, I told him the things that we had seen and read, and told him that we were proud of him for not saying any bad words back. And that we were proud of him for the conversations he was having, and ending when others would start saying bad things. His whole face lit up. He KNEW he was going to be in trouble, and probably lose his IPOD (which is life shattering for him!) He was shocked that I was praising him. He immediatly opened up about how he feels when he uses bad words, and how he feels when he's around people that use bad words, and how he wants to keep away from that as much as he can, but that everyone at recess is using them ALL the time (which Carter had told me at another time too). He also told me of some other things that were going on at school that made him feel bad. It was amazing! I learned so much. And I think that he trusted Chet and I so much more at that point. That we saw what HE was doing, not blaming him for what others were doing. We had a talk about how your friends can make the difference in a lot of things. His friends will a lot of times determine what he will be doing as well, so that he needs to pick friends wisely, but that was always going to be his decision. We would not pick his friends for him, but the decisions he made while with certain friends could effect his trust and reputation, therefore affecting his freedoms. He was so happy and willing to share about all of his friends, good and bad. It was so educational. It's good to know what the kids are like, from him.

It's gotta be hard being good when everything is starting so young. It's gotta be hard navigating at such a young age the line between not hiding your light, and being kind to everyone, and still standing up for what you know. I don't envy my kids at all. The things they are dealing with already I don't remember until well into Jr High. And I remember it being hard then. I cannot imagine it that much younger. I'm so glad that we are given so much help though. Even though we don't have a magic book that tells us all the parenting answers, we have prayer, and the Spirit, and other parents that help out a lot too! I'm scared. But happy that I have amazing boys!