Manipulation

So a while ago I reported that Cars thinks girls are crazy. He did not understand the screaming and crying and stomping off. If him and his brothers have a disagreement, they duke it out, maybe end up with a black eye or fat lip, but nobody EVER stops playing. Probably not the right way, but nonetheless, the way they do it. So, after several attempts by Baylee to get her way by throwing a temper tantrum and leaving crying, she realized it didn't work. Next attempt, use the neighbor boy as the "next best option". I heard her several times say to the boys that she would just go play with the neighbor boy if they didn't do what she wanted. The neighbor is a good little kid. He, however, comes from a completely different world. He is home alone A LOT, has no rules, plays his video games all day, and isn't much for activeness. Not exactly her style. So Chet and I were working in the garden and I hear her tell the boys this. I was mad because she wanted them to do something they weren't allowed. So as she left to play with the neighbor, I called the boys over really fast. I told them that they were being manipulated to the nth degree. I told them that we needed to find something WAY more fun, and she would be back in no time to play with them. I hurry and cleaned up and washed my hands. We sat down at the table to play cards, eat good food, and chat. Not something WAY fun, but something good to do. (the neighbors really don't knock anymore, they just come in, which I am cool with) No kidding, within about 5 minutes, Baylee and the neighbor boy are in my house at the kitchen table asking if they can play and eat. I wanted to jump up and down and laugh out loud and yell I told you so at the boys, but calmly I said, "Well, the boys said you didn't want to play anymore, so we started this fun game (when they came in we were laughing and throwing cards at each other after a close win) and we have already started, but maybe next time." Carson looks at me and says, "Mom! We can just let her play. It will be ok!" And it would have been REALLY easy to add her in. I just looked at Cars and told him to go play. They ran off to play. I later talked to them about how she came RIGHT back to play. They never have to do something wrong to keep a friend. They both smiled and it seemed to click. (I have NO doubt they are manipulating any way they can too. I am not thinking they are innocent in this friendship AT ALL!!!) It was a great lesson. Well, I have been working with them on another boy that lives in the neighborhood but about 2 streets down. He doesn't like my boys and is mean every chance he gets. We have been "killing him with kindness!" Today, he knocks on the door and asks if he can play with everyone. Cars was begging me to let him. I said sure and then said, "I thought you didn't like my boys Isiah? Will it be ok?" He told me that he didn't really know them, and now he does and likes them. I was so proud of my boys. Cars wanted to hit him about 2 weeks ago. He was soooooooo mad at him (purposely knocked the newspapers he was delivering out of his hands)! So Cars just came and asked if everyone could eat lunch with us. I said no and told him just us today. He replied, "Mom, there's only...8 of us. (That doesn't include Cael of Colby)" I guess I can do that. SO proud that they have learned some really good life lessons. I cannot wait to talk to them about Isiah after he leaves. Kill them with kindness!!! Works, almost, every time!!! But never give in to something you know is not right.