Leadership

In the past, Caden has had some troubles with bullying. He is just too cool for his own britches. Chet and I come down REALLY hard on him, and we've only had two times that it was all out bullying. I guess the first time he didn't fully understand, so we made SURE he understood how serious it was the second time. He prays every night that he will not bully (I always worried about my kids getting bullied. Who ever knew I would hear my son pray every night for self control to NOT bully! Oy!!). If there is ever a TINY situation that we feel is even slightly bullying, we come down hard. Well, yesterday he gets into the car after school really excited to tell me what happened at recess today. He proceeds to tell me about him teaching the boy he has bullied to be a star football player. He was telling me all about him congratulating him every time he caught the ball, and encouraging him to play well. He says, "He made the team with the best players! I taught him how to be the best, besides Zeb and Me!" He was looking at me proud as can be! Little did he know at that time, my little wheels were spinning in my head wondering what that meant that he made the best team. I asked Caden if the teams were seperated into best vs worst. He shakes his head yes. Trying to be nice I say, "Did you split the teams Caden?" Carter pipes up from the back seat, "Uh Mom, Caden leads EVERYTHING. He sets every team. He makes every decision. Whatever he says, everyone does." Caden, realizing he made a big mistake, starts apologizing for hurting anyones feelings. He tells me that he will make sure the teams aren't like that tomorrow. He tells me that he will be on the other team tomorrow. Carter says, "Then everyone will join you on that team. You need to split them even." It was the first time that I really realized the influence that Caden has. A mother was just telling me yesterday about how the entire family had to hear about how good Caden's hair looked and how it stayed all day and how awesome he is. I knew that he was "popular". But I had no idea the pull he has on almost everything and everyone around him. He has been having some "entitlement" problems at home, and now I see why. It changed everything. I once gave a talk at church about perspective, and how different things can be when you see it from another perspective. I need to do a better job at teaching Caden how to lead. Not boss. He has so much influence! He has such a strong, loving, sweet heart, and I need to teach him to tap into that. Last night while praying he said that he wants to be as good of a person as Martin Luther King. I remember last year he was really inspired by him. Light bulb moments. I thank Heavenly Father for giving me these times, answering my prayers to know how to handle these crazy boys. I don't need to "pop" his head, I need to help him use his gift to HELP and INSPIRE others. Now the work begins, in a completely different direction than I was headed. Life is never dull around here! There is always more to learn, and so much more to teach these boys. I asked them the other night at dinner if I was to die tomorrow, what would I want most from them to accomplish before they died. They start spouting things like get married in the temple, and go on a mission. They definitely know what I hope and pray for everyday, now to just get them there!